Ultimate Warrior

As a pro-wrestler, the Ultimate Warrior was bombastic. He rumbled through phenomenological discourse while decked out in face paint and star-spangled leather undies. (A lengthy VH1-style montage of Ultimate Warrior's speeches is here.) Nowadays he is a motivational speaker not so different from the bearlike Lacanian theorist Slavoj Žižek.

When his words are in print, Warrior is messianic and a little hard to follow: in short, he's almost indistinguishable from higher-profile theorists like Heidegger or Foucault. Such is the thesis of Jeff Shaw of the Minneapolis City Pages. Shaw's brilliant 12-part quiz dares you to distinguish between Ultimate Warrior, Nietzsche, Rand et al: "Philosopher...or Warrior?"

"The standard of morality in altruism is the degree of selflessness for an action. The only justification for your own existence is to continue sacrificing and renouncing your own values for others. Individuality is crushed, and blatant crimes in the name of "selflessness" destroy man's spirit in an altruist society. It certainly does not mean a general good-will towards others, nor does it mean being charitable to worthy causes. Altruism is self-abnegation."